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Children's Ministry Language Guide
by Roger Fields
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It has come to our attention that Children’s Pastors see the world a little differently than most others. This handy reference guide will help bridge the language gap that so often divides them from the rest of society. We recommend this guide be kept for ready reference at all staff and board meetings so as to help understand your children’s pastor and his/her perspective.
“CHILDREN’S MINISTRY”
To Most People: The black hole of the church. Exact origin: unknown. Sucks people in never to be seen again in a worship service.
To the Children’s Pastor: The highest calling in the world
“VBS”
To Most People: A week off for mom so having the kids home for the summer won’t be so traumatic
To the Children’s Pastor: Time of reaching lost kids for the Lord
“PASTOR’S KID”
To Most People: The offspring of our beloved minister of God
To the Children’s Pastor: a virus
“SALARY”
To Most People: Living wage for services rendered
To the Children’s Pastor: A goal in life
“HELIUM TANK”
To Most People: A good way to blow up balloons
To the Children’s Pastor: Office furniture
“PUPPETS”
To Most People: Stuffed animals or people you can place over your hand
To the Children’s Pastor: Reliable workers
“CURRICULUM”
To Most People: Educational materials
To the Children’s Pastor: Survival kit
“SUMMERTIME”
To Most People: Sunshine and lemonade
To the Children’s Pastor: VBS and camp
“EXODUS”
To Most People: Children of Israel leaving Egypt
To the Children’s Pastor: Workers leaving for the summer
“VEGGIE TALES”
To Most People: Videos about talking vegetables
To the Children’s Pastor: Best way on earth to survive when service goes long
“VOLUNTEER”
To Most People: Unpaid people who work for fire department
To the Children’s Pastor: Best word to use for attracting kids and worst word to use for attracting adults
“KOOL AID”
To Most People: Snack drink
To the Children’s Pastor: The fifth food group
“CHOIR”
To Most People: Adults in matching robes who sing in church
To the Children’s Pastor: Hideout for AWOL nursery workers
“PRAYER REQUEST”
To Most People: Sick relatives
To the Children’s Pastor: Sick pets
“A GOOD CHURCH SERVICE”
To Most People: A good sermon with everyone out on time
To the Children’s Pastor: No injuries
“NEW MEMBERS CLASS”
To Most People: Way to become familiar with church doctrine
To the Children’s Pastor: Meat market for new workers
“WORKERS MEETINGS”
To Most People: Never heard of it
To the Children’s Pastor: Way to inform children’s workers
“CHURCH BULLETIN”
To Most People: A fan
To the Children’s Pastor: An airplane
“CHILDREN”
To Most People: Church of tomorrow
To the Children’s Pastor: Church of today
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Roger Fields is the president of Character Creations and web author of the Cold Water Cafe
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